20 Things that only happen in movies
July 16, 2005
NOSTALGIA CENTRAL -- Here are 20 things that seem to happen only in movies, taken from a list of "40 things" on the same subject.
- It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
- When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.
- Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
- Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
- Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).
- Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
- On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard.
- All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).
- Cars never need fuel (unless they're involved in a pursuit).
- If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
- If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
- Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.
- All single women have a cat.
Nostalgia Central -- "40 Things That Only Happen in Movies"