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On the day of the leavings

CLONMEL -- To mark the occasion of another charter flight from Dublin to Lagos, isn't it good for to reflect on listings of things that make us different from others?

Top Ten Reasons for being American

  1. You can have a female President, even though you didn't elect her.
  2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
  3. You can call Budweiser beer.
  4. You can be a crook and still be President.
  5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
  6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
  7. You get to be really obese.
  8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes imaginable and no one minds.
  9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
  10. You can believe you're the greatest nation on Earth.

Top Ten Reasons for being Indian

  1. Chicken Madras.
  2. Lamb Passanda.
  3. Onion Bhajee.
  4. Bombay Duck.
  5. Chicken Tikka Massala.
  6. Rogan Josh.
  7. Poppadoms.
  8. Chicken Dupiaza.
  9. Meat Bhoona.
  10. Kingfisher lager.

Top Ten Reasons for being Irish

  1. Guinness.
  2. You can have 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
  3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
  4. You can use Papal Edicts on contraception passed in the 2nd Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't wear a condom.
  5. The pubs never close.
  6. No one can ever remember the night before.
  7. You can kill people who disagree with your political opinion.
  8. Stew.
  9. More Guinness.
  10. You can eat Irish stew and drink Guinness in a pub at 3am after a bout of sectarian violence.

Bonus Link: Twenty Major (still smoking in Dublin pubs).